Boo on me, I know. But I was still fighting the Fever-y Head Cold of Doom. doomie doom.
I'll try to make up for the lapse with an extra post soon. If not today, then sometime in the next week or so.
I did spend yesterday thinking about my writing, though--even when my bedsheets were laying lightly on top or smoothed beneath me, and I felt tangled in then--I still feel like I wasn't completely lazy yesterday.
Mostly, my thoughts were drawn to the myriad agent, editor and writer blogs (both published and unpublished) that I visit. So many of them mention at some point the need for a writer who wants to get published to be confident, but not overly-confident (horror stories from agents receiving the 'of course you can't understand my magnificent work, you have to read it to see its stunning depth'). Bloggers in the know say writers shouldn't send out query letters until they believe their novel is the best they can make it. Not 'good enough,' not 'good,' but great, as close to perfect as the writer can accomplish.
The past few days, with this cold (or whatever it is), I can't help but wonder where I fall in the spectrum, except to know I am not firmly on the crazy over-confident end--I can be rather practical-minded, I like to believe. I do my research, and double-check it before sending out queries, so I have the most up-to-date information. But I can also be a pretty anxious and neurotic individual, and I'm finding it difficult, after a summer with my head in this one novel, to see whether it is as good as I can make it, or if I'm just too close to see its flaws, and a bit too tired. I don't know if my worries about the quality are justified, or just my over-active anxieties.
Anyway, that's what was going through my head while I was sick, so you know, grain of salt.
I want to present myself, especially with this, my "official" writing blog, as a competent and reasonable person. At the same time, it's chronicling my journey towards publication, and the worry is a part of that. I debated whether to mention how neurotic I can be, but this anxiety is a part of me, and it's part of my process as a writer. If I continue to receive form rejections, then I'll reevaluate my novel. Until then, and from now on, I'll keep the jibbering anixety to myself. For your sakes, dear readers. Because I care. ;P