Searching for Sabrina

2015 isn't done yet, but it's had its share of ups and downs for me.

I've been a teacher for nearly five years--July would have been the 5-year anniversary of my starting my teaching job. But things happened and basically, the school closed. It was the sort of thing that was out of the hands of the campus administration, but my life went from prepping for a new quarter of English and psychology courses, teaching the first week and settling in, to waking up on a Sunday morning in April with a new email me informing me the campus (and all the other campuses for this college) was closing. 

So I was suddenly without a job. It was sort of shocking, but in some ways, well timed. It had been a fast-paced school, a new bunch of students every quarter (100 or so new names and faces, four times a year), and very little time to catch my breath or focus on other interests.

I'd struggled for a long time to get back in the habit of reading for leisure, or writing, or crafting. I often didn't have the energy, and when I did, I often didn't have the motivation or inspiration.

I felt like I was losing myself.

Without the daily grind of teaching, and being lucky enough to be in a home situation where I could take a few months off, I figured this was a good opportunity to rediscover what makes me happy.

I start the job search in earnest in September. I gave myself the summer to focus on finding my joy, so I've been writing and making jewelry, and decorating trinket boxes, even doing a little painting and trying to get back in the habit of drawing.

It's kind of glorious. I get sleep, I have more control over my daily schedule, and I feel like I found Sabrina, finally.

Back from the Grave

I know, it's almost the end of September. Where have I been?

The short answer is work.

The long answer is...well, no work about sums it up. It is good and fulfiling, especially when I connect with a student, but it is time-consuming as all get out.

The quarter is over in two weeks, but this week is just a smidge hellish, because I'm grading three classes' worth of essays, and every other activity they turned in this week, and a few from last week, for four classes. It adds up. I also want to make my exams, I need two, and along with that the exam review game (modified jeopardy). I should probably also fix my watch, which over the last three years has slowed down to the point of being about ten minutes behind, and it'd be good to give students an accurate account of their time during presentations, which start the second half of this week.

So tomorrow will be busy, and though I considered updating here earlier today, I'd put it aside because I was working. But then I jumped back on the computer to email a student, and figured I could spare a few minutes. I have five more essays I want to grade tonight, and then churchy time tomorrow will actually be 'grading in a dark corner of the santuary, hope the different space will help me focus.'

Today I had a very hard time focusing, you see. I am ashamed of myself. I want to accomplish so much, and that seems to be the impetus for my brain, "Oh no no no, you want to finish the last four volumes of the 18-volume manga series you're rereading (D. Gray-man for the curious, very good). That too is an accomplishment." And I say, "Oh brain," and shake my head at its silly suggestion, look at the giant stack of essays, then read two volumes of manga.

I probably shouldn't mention thta on a public blog, huh? But, I am getting work done. I took a break with the manga, and that refreshed me enough to get back to work, despite the heat of the day, which is also quite the deterrent. (And the library isn't open for long on Saturday, and not at all Sunday. How sad.)

So my weekdays are chock-full of work, as are the weekends, and I occasionally remember to eat and sleep, mostly because people yell at me and say, "Sabrina, don't make come over there and beat you with a breadloaf until you have to eat your way free." Or something to that effect. Not that I want to skip meals, but I am not a breakast person, so half the time I forget, and I never have time for lunch. I am trying, though. I usually have a granola bar handy.

Lastly, I am a doofus, and I fell off the bus yesterday. I was laden down with new textbooks for next quarter, and was a bit lopsided, do as I was stepping down the last step of the bus onto the ground (hand gripped on the door handle), my left ankle turned and my leg buckled (or the other way around, I'm not sure), and I kinda went straight down. I did have a moment to think, "I am falling, how I avoid falling flat on my face?" so sacrificed my right knee and landed hard on it. A bit scrapped up, but I didn't drop my books, or take a header into the concrete and gravel.

So all in all, that was a good day. I also got to pass along the 'Tim Gunn takes on superhero costumes' YouTube interview, which Jennifer Ambrose first posted about.

Well, I've given you all plenty to read, and it's 11 p.m., and I still have a few essays to get through. I hope everyone else is doing well. Goodnight.

Happy writing,
Sabrina