Searching for Sabrina

2015 isn't done yet, but it's had its share of ups and downs for me.

I've been a teacher for nearly five years--July would have been the 5-year anniversary of my starting my teaching job. But things happened and basically, the school closed. It was the sort of thing that was out of the hands of the campus administration, but my life went from prepping for a new quarter of English and psychology courses, teaching the first week and settling in, to waking up on a Sunday morning in April with a new email me informing me the campus (and all the other campuses for this college) was closing. 

So I was suddenly without a job. It was sort of shocking, but in some ways, well timed. It had been a fast-paced school, a new bunch of students every quarter (100 or so new names and faces, four times a year), and very little time to catch my breath or focus on other interests.

I'd struggled for a long time to get back in the habit of reading for leisure, or writing, or crafting. I often didn't have the energy, and when I did, I often didn't have the motivation or inspiration.

I felt like I was losing myself.

Without the daily grind of teaching, and being lucky enough to be in a home situation where I could take a few months off, I figured this was a good opportunity to rediscover what makes me happy.

I start the job search in earnest in September. I gave myself the summer to focus on finding my joy, so I've been writing and making jewelry, and decorating trinket boxes, even doing a little painting and trying to get back in the habit of drawing.

It's kind of glorious. I get sleep, I have more control over my daily schedule, and I feel like I found Sabrina, finally.

SAD makes me irked

Seasonal Affective Disorder usually refers to a tendency for people to become depressed or sad during the winter holidays.

For me, it usually manifests with irritability during the summer. (Not that I am diagnosed with it. It is just a trend in my moods.)

I am not a summer kind of gal, said the person living in Hawaii for 20 years. But we're getting towards those hotter days and it's much harder to concentrate on anything.

On top of my weather-induced mood shift, there are a number of things that will make it hard to get any writing done. But I plan to try.

My aunt is coming for a long visit soon.

But, despite a nice-looking work schedule (sure I won't be able to eat for most of my Mondays and Wednesdays, but that's not really new), which affords me time to hang out with the family and rest, I'll have to be more diligent about writing.

I am finally getting into the swing of my clockwork ghost story, and I'm typing up notes for a collaborative UF with someone. [That will hopefully keep my creative juices flowing.] So I'm hoping that devoting some bus time to writing longhand, as well as setting aside time when I get home from work on Tuesdays and Thursday (when I finish work early) will help make a lot of headway on both stories.

I am also hoping that having taught here for a year, there will be less prep to do in the mornings,so I'll have time in the air conditioned office to do some writing as well.

It'll mean a lot of early mornings, which I am not prone to when the time is my own (I stayed up until 1 last night and could've stayed up later except I knew I had plans today), but the plan is those will be productive early mornings.

Anyway, so that's the update from me. Now please enjoy this random photo:

Pretend the Date says Sunday

I'm a day behind. I ended up not going to the ghost tour. Although I had an offer from someone to drive me there, I didn;t have a ride home, and the buses don't run from town to here at 10 pm. Plus, two of the four friends who were going seemed to hav stayed home as well, and that strikes me as a great event for a group to go to. It'd be more fun than going alone.

Instead, I stayed home, watched recorded copies of last Monday's How I Met Your Mother and Big Bang Theory ("Wheaton!" heh), and watched the new episode of Amazing Race, during which I nearly threw up. The nausea lasted through the rest of the night and a good chunk of today, so that was not fun, and I don't really know what caused it.

Anyway, I've been off the computer today. But I have been reading--Skin Deep by Mark del Franco. It's the first book in a new series, but set in the same world as his three previous books (which I've mentioned here: Unshapely Things, Unquiet Dreams, and Unfallen Dead). Until today, I was only reading a few pages here and there, because my attention was occupied by other things. Today, focusing on resting and not moving suddenly and thus throwing up, I lay very still and really got into it. Good book.

All right, I'm off to rest for the rest of the evening.[That was sadly redundant.] I will leave you all with the best emoticon I've ever seen, shown to me, and I believe created by, my friend.

Klingon emoticon: (}}:->

hee

Update: Taste like Pomegranate

Today I translated the last 125 lines of Beowulf, a 3182-line poem in Old English. One of my classmates thinks we should write our professor evaluations in Old English. I totally get a kick out of the thought, but I don't know if I have the time, since perhaps my weakest area (besides the bloody grammar--darn you dative and accusative cases!) is memorizing the vocabulary.

We'll see. I'm working on my ten-page "What I would write on had I more time" paper for Beowulf. And slogging through it, too. I just can't seem to keep my attention on it. But that done, I'll only have to worry about the final next Wednesday and my work at UH is complete.

I graduate--black gown, cap and fancy-schmancy hood--on May 16. Part of me is giddy and squeeing in relief and excitement. I'll be the first one on either side of the family (as far as I know and at least for immediate family) to get a Master's degree. The other part is terrified. I'm taking the summer to focus on querying agents and making my work the best it can be. I won't have the excuse of school or a job taking up so much time that I can't edit. And it is an excuse. After this summer, I start looking for a day job (hence the terror, I have no idea what I want to do or where I want to work, besides writing novels), and at that point, I will work and write and can just shut my cake-hole about being too tired.

I can be kind of mean to myself. ~shrugs~

But the Hounds book has been done, HS is now done and needs an overhaul in one area that will affect the whole book, I have a high fantasy parody/travel narrative complete for my other class, and just finished a short story (self-contained, new characters, and none of them are clamouring for something longer right now, a first!), which is with a few beta readers right now and then goes off on submission for an anthology. I am excited, but trying to keep it to a minimum since I haven't even sent it in yet.

We'll have to see how it goes.

Right then, the women of Beowulf beckon, and the gabby bunch.