Thanksgiving Eve already?

I have written. A few days after that previous post (okay, around the 13th), I got out another couple thousand words written, from 2,000 and something to 4,423. And I'm proud of that even though I haven't nearly reached the goal I would have liked to reach, and haven't fully gotten back in the writing habit. Even now I am only taking a few quick minutes to update here, but then I have grades to update.


And tomorrow is Thanksgiving, the history of which I have great issues with--I know I've been raised in a privileged home, even if we were never more than middle-middle class (lower-middle class even, though I didn't think of life in those terms and never felt deprived), and I try my hardest to learn all I can about history and other cultures and traditions, while trying to get rid of any prejudices I may have (I won't claim to have none, but I don't like it, so I try to recognize it and reverse it). Thanksgiving is steeped like a dark, bitter tea in twisted symbolism and skewed events.

But I can't help but like the (more modern?) idea behind it, of taking time in a busy world to show gratitude for what you have and to say thank you for the wonderful people who stand beside you--both literally for those near at hand, and figuratively, for friends and family who live in the colder places, but whose warmth still reaches across the distance.

On a stressful day when my timecard was giving me trouble, a small thanks to the IT guy for walking me through the fix. And thanks to a fellow writer for encouraging the writer in me who just wants to curl up and sleep all too often these days (for a myriad of reasons, not the least of which has been a cold and chillier nights), and a thank you to the people who thank me, because something as small as that makes my day, knowing my words however few and faint, reached someone and meant something to them.

So thank you to my readers here, to my friends, to my fellow writers.

Three weeks, really Sabrina!?

I scold myself, I really do. I feel like I've hardly been on my computer in this time, let alone thought about blogging. Even now this must be short because there is other work glaring at me and tapping its foot impatiently.

Long story short, work is eating my brain.

But I was thinking about NaNo (National Novel Writing Month--and why does my hand stay on shift key with I type the abbreviation, so it comes out NaNO?), and although I haven't signed up on the official website, and don't intend to, I was thinking of using it as a chance to write again.

I've been distracted and busy and have plenty of excuses that can get more obscure, entertaining and convoluted if I had the time, but I figured I'd drop in really quick and ask my readers:

What do you do when you're so busy, it feels like there's no time to write, and in the free time you do have, you're so tired even watching t.v. is too much effort?

This is what I've been asking myself lately without an answer to grab onto floating by (along with "Why don't recovering perfectionists have support groups or well known methods of changing both the behavior and the thinking?"). Any ideas?

Interlude: A Vacation that's Not

On Friday, I submitted my final grades. By Friday afternoon, I was home and my first quarter as a teacher was over. I gave myself the weekend to not worry--I worried, but not enough to waste the weekend with work--and yesterday began a week of work before my second quarter begins on the 11th.

Also on the 11th, my family has a friend coming to visit. So this week is preparing two new syllabi for a different English class and an intro to psych (yes, I am squeeing even as I type that), and tweaking my syllabus for Eng. 105. (There's some stuff I want to keep but change a bit, other stuff I might cut down.) On top of that is cleaning the house. Those of you who have known me for a while might know just how little room there is in my house, so cleaning involves a lot of dusting of tiny tchotchkes, hiding excess stuff that takes up space, and rearranging things. We just have too many belongings for a house this small. Also we are cooking a lot. My mother insists on having homemade sauce and pasta ready for whenever her friend wants it. [And I gardened on Saturday and did -not- rip my hand open dealing with the roses. Go me!]

What it boils down to is a lot of work during a single week when I would rather write. I'm also preparing for Christmas and the winter holidays. I love Halloween, but I never seem to have anything to do that night. We never throw parties and I don't seem to have friends that throw Halloween parties, and I'm not one who's super big on wandering the bars. And then, judging form the one craft project I was going to do two months ago, it's clear that during the quarter I won't get a lot of time to craft, so I'm taking some time now to figure out what I'm going to make versus buy, and be ready for it, So if I have an easy weekend work-wise, I can get crafty.


Anyway, that's what I've been up to. How about all of you?

Back from the Grave

I know, it's almost the end of September. Where have I been?

The short answer is work.

The long answer is...well, no work about sums it up. It is good and fulfiling, especially when I connect with a student, but it is time-consuming as all get out.

The quarter is over in two weeks, but this week is just a smidge hellish, because I'm grading three classes' worth of essays, and every other activity they turned in this week, and a few from last week, for four classes. It adds up. I also want to make my exams, I need two, and along with that the exam review game (modified jeopardy). I should probably also fix my watch, which over the last three years has slowed down to the point of being about ten minutes behind, and it'd be good to give students an accurate account of their time during presentations, which start the second half of this week.

So tomorrow will be busy, and though I considered updating here earlier today, I'd put it aside because I was working. But then I jumped back on the computer to email a student, and figured I could spare a few minutes. I have five more essays I want to grade tonight, and then churchy time tomorrow will actually be 'grading in a dark corner of the santuary, hope the different space will help me focus.'

Today I had a very hard time focusing, you see. I am ashamed of myself. I want to accomplish so much, and that seems to be the impetus for my brain, "Oh no no no, you want to finish the last four volumes of the 18-volume manga series you're rereading (D. Gray-man for the curious, very good). That too is an accomplishment." And I say, "Oh brain," and shake my head at its silly suggestion, look at the giant stack of essays, then read two volumes of manga.

I probably shouldn't mention thta on a public blog, huh? But, I am getting work done. I took a break with the manga, and that refreshed me enough to get back to work, despite the heat of the day, which is also quite the deterrent. (And the library isn't open for long on Saturday, and not at all Sunday. How sad.)

So my weekdays are chock-full of work, as are the weekends, and I occasionally remember to eat and sleep, mostly because people yell at me and say, "Sabrina, don't make come over there and beat you with a breadloaf until you have to eat your way free." Or something to that effect. Not that I want to skip meals, but I am not a breakast person, so half the time I forget, and I never have time for lunch. I am trying, though. I usually have a granola bar handy.

Lastly, I am a doofus, and I fell off the bus yesterday. I was laden down with new textbooks for next quarter, and was a bit lopsided, do as I was stepping down the last step of the bus onto the ground (hand gripped on the door handle), my left ankle turned and my leg buckled (or the other way around, I'm not sure), and I kinda went straight down. I did have a moment to think, "I am falling, how I avoid falling flat on my face?" so sacrificed my right knee and landed hard on it. A bit scrapped up, but I didn't drop my books, or take a header into the concrete and gravel.

So all in all, that was a good day. I also got to pass along the 'Tim Gunn takes on superhero costumes' YouTube interview, which Jennifer Ambrose first posted about.

Well, I've given you all plenty to read, and it's 11 p.m., and I still have a few essays to get through. I hope everyone else is doing well. Goodnight.

Happy writing,
Sabrina

Tired, but feeling good

Not a writing post, but I just finished my first official day of work. From my side of things, despite my being a bit nervous and worrying about time, the class seemed to go well.

It looked like, once we were done with the syllabus, they got into the ice breaker activity--I wanted them to have a conversation with someone they didn't know. Find out a few things, but converse instead of just asking X, Y, and Z and doing the bare minimum. I shared, too, and we laughed (with me, not at me, lol). That is a key determinant, in my view. If they're comfortable enough to joke around without being disruptive of the lesson, then I think they're more likely to pay attention.

I'm hoping that I can keep that sort of momentum going, even with "duller" topics like grammar and sentence structure.

But I made it through the day. Tomorrow I have two classes, and Wednesday is this one again. I am tired, but overall, happy. There were no rebellions, and I didn't even need to bringout The Gradebook of Doooooom! so yeah, that was cool.

:P

In other news, as I've been cleaning to make room for the work stuff and give it its own space, I have been organizing my craft supplies. I have been feeling the craft bug lo these many many past nights. I just don't know what I want to make yet. And I am tired and getting silly (getting? I am already there), so I'm done now. How are all of you?
~Sabrina

The Job Hunt is Over!

Just a quick update. I was hesitant to say anything until I was absolutely sure, but I got the call that my background cleared and my new instructor orientation is on Monday. I am employed.

~does the happywiggle dance of happiness~




I'll be Heald's newest English instructor, with a pretty full course load for an adjunct (part-time newbie, basically) instructor. I've been reviewing the course plan and have until the 19th, when the new quarter starts, to build my syllabus from there.

I did the interview, then a mini-lesson teaching Program Directors and higher-ups about the usage of the semi-colon. It was a topic I didn't understand so well and I figured it would be good to learn something myself while teching others. And then, hee, I heard through the grapevine that after the mini-lesson, someone called me brilliant. Which blows my mind. All I can do is smile like a goofball and go, "Really?" But that's awesome, and gives me more confidence for this.

Wish me luck!

[And hope my posting doesn't drop off even more. >_<]

As of today...

...I am officially unemployed.

I don't know if 1. I am just much worse at multi-tasking than I thought, 2. it's just work + school that's a bad combination for me, or 3. this specific job. I know people, many people in this Graduate English program who work and go to school. They work in offices or have a TA-ship at the university. As far as I know, none of them are managers, so maybe that's it, but I feel a bit bad that I couldn't keep working and still get all my school-work done.

I feel like if others can accomplish both, so should I, and then I think, don't be stupid, you shouldn't compare yourself to others, ever. (Because I talk to myself like that.) I knew even before they officially offered me the management position at the beginning of this past summer that I wouldn't be able to split my time well enough to devote all the attention I should to work, school and something resembling a social life (or even just some me-time). They didn't really listen. So I kept managing, but it got to the point where it seemed to me there's no way I can manage a store and a half (technically I was managing two stores, then one, then I was sort of an assistant manager as school began, but the main manager looked to me as a superior and I was still handling the major issues, or so it felt), and still complete all the project I needed to in order to graduate in the spring.

So here I am. My first day of not going to work.

My wallet will be wonting, but I think my writing will appreciate it. And I'm at a point in my life, where I can be out of work and still survive (housing situation is stable and I have some funds saved, plus a lovely scholarship that I am very grateful for). But I plan to only do so until I graduate, then get another job.

This one was supposed to be a regular part-time job for the two years of my Master's program, but it became so much more than I expected it to. (Just goes to show you how unambitious I can be.)

Of course, that said, I haven't typed a word yet today for either story I'm working on. But I'm almost done with 50+ lines of Old English translation (I won't say I'm good at it, but I like it), and I've been trying to get through my reading for my evening Tuesday class.

That one is slow-going, but I still have all of this evening, so I'm off to do that.

"Harry's Skin" and "Jinx Infinity" are calling to me and I am in a state of suspended excitement, my fingertips mentally poised over the keyboard.

An update, finally

Sorry I've been away so long, life took up a lot of time. Even this should be a short one, because I have to leave for class in an hour and I still have to get my things ready.

So final count of that week off I swiped way back when: approximately 14,000. Actually just a little under. And it's not all staying because I sort of rewrote part of one scene to see which way was better, but the second version is shorter, so it's not a painful loss of word count.

I wish I had a little more time to write, frankly. And I had a mini-epiphany last night. I keep telling myself I need to make time, but I think it finally sank in last night. I -need- to force myself to come home from work and school and just write for at least an hour. And yes, I'm exhausted when I get home from work, and yes, I'm tired when I get home from class after 9;30 pm, but if I don't start something at those times, I'll try to rely on the weekends, which never works out because those are my homework and running around days, unless I have to work and then it feels like work eats up the entire Saturday (it doesn't, but again, I get home exhausted) and both homework and running around are relegated to Sunday.

It's a bit strange. I have the committment to write a novel-length book--I've done it twice before--but I find the committment to making the time horribly difficult.

Just gotta keep chugging along, though.

In other news, work is kicking my butt, especially since I'm still only part-time and only come in two or three days a week. Also kicking my butt, but in a more pleasant way, is school. At university right now, we're having a symposium on folktales and fairytales: translation, colonialism and cinema. There's a panel discussion at 1:30 today, but I have class right at that time, so I can't go, but there are three other events I wanna get to today.

The symposium has been really fun, even with leaving my house early and getting home rather late everyday.

Speaking of, I have class and a symposium to get ready for. I'll try not to be gone so long next time.

Happy writing!

Previews

I was going to post a real live post, but the long day and the heat hashit me suddenly, so here's teh gist of things and I'll go on in more detail tomorrow.

1. I now manage the store I work at, and basically manage the other one while a new manager for that store is being found and trained. I'm hoping the pay raise will help save even more for my last semester of gradschool (two to go, one's already paid for).

2. I'm probably going to be doing a 699 class with two other students--a directed reading class--which is fine except I don't quite have the best grasp of what that sort of course would entail, especially since usually it's one student to one professor, not 3 to 1.

3. In the past week, I've read Laurell K. Hamilton's "Blood Noir," Caitlin Kittredge's "Night Life," and Mark del Franco's "Unshapely Things." I enjoyed the first, more than "Danse Macabre," but a little less than "The Harlequin." I enjoyed greatly the latter two, to the point that I am looking forward to Kittredge's next book at the end of August/beginning of September--Hawaii seems to get new releases a week or two later than the expected dates. Werewolves in the modern have been done often now, but I like hwo this world is set up and the relationships, especially between Luna and her cousin is interesting.

Del Franco's I also devoured in a day or two. I know the second book is already out (actually I picked up the first because I'd read something about the second that sparked my interest), and the third is either out or will be soon, I believe. Alas, they didn't have any at my local Borders Express (it should be at the regular Borders, though, so I'll pick it up on Wednesday when I go to my writer's group).

4. In the meantime, I still have a stack of books borrowed from (read: foisted upon me by) my older sister, some library books and a few books I've bought recently that are calling to be read. I think I'll start with "Music to My Sorrows" by Mercedes Lackey, then to Gaiman's "Anansi Boys" (crazy I haven't read it yet), and the slew of comic books I picked up at the week-long book sale that started this past weekend. We always go the first day and I picked up an Edward Gorey book, Sandman and Books of Magic comics (the newer incarnation, I believe) as well as a few other books.

Completing collections and starting new ones.

5. Editing has picked up again. I'm just a few chapters from the end of editing Hounds, then one more read-through, then queries to agents. That's my goal this summer. Even if I don't have an agent by then, I'll feel good just getting on the road to having one.



Uh, heh, so I'm sure there was something else I'd planned to add, and this was all going to be shorter, a 'here's what I'll write about tomorrow, but I'm waving hello right now,' but my eyes are hurting so I'm signing off now. I feel like I've been getting a cold for over a week and sneezing for weeks, but can't really afford to take a day off unless I really need it. Ach, headache. We have Friday and Saturday off, but I could use Monday or Tuesday off, too. For now, I'll have to settle for sleep.

Milestones, or some variation thereof

Okay, so technically, this is my big news for Thursday, because I didn't touch my computer yesterday. As of this past holiday, I finished the first big round of editing on Hounds, the urban fantasy I've been working on. I had my printed out copy that I'd gone through months ago, making notes and changes, and on Thursday said I was taking a break from my week of school work (seminar papers, oh the joy) to edit for fun.

I finally reached the last page, and then even decided to haul out the other hard copy covered in green ink (I just don't like the look of all that red ink) and editing notes. I actually breezed through the first eight chapters or so on that one, however. It was a copy of the pages as I brought them to my writer's group. After receiving their verbal and written commentary I compiled it all onto my pages and put all those copies into its own folder. From title to "The End." I'd started off incoroprating those changes a few days (a week at the latest) after the meeting where I received them, but then I fell behind, so when I went to incorporate the changes the other day, I didn't have any big changes until chapter 6. Makes the 'I edited eight chapters in one day' claim a little less impressive.

Anyway, that's all good stuff for me. My first semester of graduate school is winding down. I took this past week off work to focus on my papers and research. I feel like the time has gone by far too quickly, though. I have a 4-5 page paper, as well as an outline or some semblance of knowing what I'll talk about, which I can email my Thursday class professor for a presentation on Thursday. Both need to be in by Monday. And the bulk of my time, not spent doing homework for the Monday and Wednesday classes I still had despite the holiday (only the Thursday class was cancelled) was researching for a draft of a 20-page seminar paper which I need by Wednesday.

One week is not enough.

Even this post is a small detour from research on the presence, or lack thereof of "minority" characters in science fiction and fantasy (I use quotation marks because I live in Hawai'i, where African-American, Asian and Pacific Islanders are anything but the minority) for this 5-page paper due Monday. I probably won't get to typing it tonight (I wouldn't want to, even here I feel like my writing is confused and convoluted), but if I have my research done and my notes organized, typing it tomorrow shouldn't be too bad. Then research for the presentation, which I bega last week, and an outline about that, then see about some research on the gendered body of Joan of Arc (for my Wednesday class, Medieval Women Writers, it just sounded like so much fun). But that last will depend on what time I finish the other two tasks. At least, at this point, there's no more required reading for my classes (except this last week in the Thursday class).

(And why does a 5-page paper, or 20-page for that matter, seem like such a big deal when I finished the first drafts of two novel-length works? Not that I'm bragging, I just don't quite get how being able to achieve that, plus the countless other essays I've written as an undergraduate, and still the prospect of these graduate papers fills me with dread.)

Then again, I go back to work Monday. Ugh. It wouldn't be so bad except I know I'll still be really busy, school-wise, the next few weeks and work is going to be busy, too. That's okay. I'll hang it there. Just don't be surprised if I look like a zombie by the time Chrsitmas hits (I'm also making two things for friends as Christmas gifts, so those need to be done soon so I can mail them out and I haven't even really begun).

And look at all the love for the parentheses tonight.

Yeah, definitely gonna be a zombie.

Good luck to the rest of you. Happy writing.

I keep forgetting what I wanted to write about: Writing and My Day Job, a Sitcom

So, it's nice to be working. I'm outside the house, I'm working with, talking wit, and generally intercting with people that are not blood related. And I get paid.

Of course, I am forced to stand for 5-6 hours most days, which is uncomfortable, and there are so many different things to remember and I get a little stressed worrying that I'll mess up someone's shipping. But it's okay.

The issue is balance. I am not a morning. I need coffee, and without a lunch break, I need food before I leave in the morning. There's one show I like to watch, too, but it doesn't seem to be on every morning now. And then I get home around 5:30 and I'm tired. It's 9:50 in the morning right now, I am trying to type this, eat breakfast, drink a cup of coffee, and edit chapter 12 for my writing group tonight. I have forty minutes, I don't think I'll finish the editing, because I definitely intend to finish the coffee and I feel obligated to finish the food (even though it's a bit greasy).

So I am currently trying to find a balance between working at a day job, that takes up the bulk of the hours I would be on the computer and leaves me tired and aching afterward, with my desire to work on my stories.

But I like the challenge. Day after day solely in front of a computer monitor with few to no people around turns you into a hermit. And I think a job gives you more fodder for stories, as unconscious and unintended (and the ideas may be completely unrelated to anythng a work, but just getting out around different people opens your mind to other things, I think) as it may be.

There we go. I remembered the points I wanted to make. I have other ideas for posts, but no time now, so I am off to edit and eat.

Come here coffee, I won't hurt you.